Fallen Children

We have wandered far afield from the morals of our youth
Into fields that, from a distance, appeared green and verdant
But were full of stagnant pools and choked with weeds


So what changed
Were we too ambitious to see our path had diverged
Or too enamored with little novelties to see the pitfalls within
So confident in our own abilities that we blind ourselves to the truth
That we are in trouble


And I wonder
Is it too late to reclaim the innocence of our younger days
Turn from those fields, retrace our steps
And find the road we left so long ago
Or perhaps forge new pathways back to more innocent times


Is it possible to leave behind bloodshed and anger against our brother
After all, Cain killed Abel and wars have been fought for as long as we have existed
Maybe we are hopelessly flawed, but I still choose to believe
That we will stop bickering amongst ourselves and try
Extending a helping hand instead of a club


That we can stop with the finger pointing and name calling
To learn to love one another instead of finding fault
That we can once again find the golden days of our youth
Maybe it is only a dream; for childhood is full of bullies and pushing and shoving
Perhaps those days were not so golden after all, but rather tarnished brass


But still I hope

Wandered Away

As a child I used to wander off. One moment I would be standing there in my mother’s sight, and the next I’d be off who knows where, chasing after something that had caught my eye. It got so bad that she purchased a harness for me, as if I were some bad dog that couldn’t be taught to heel properly and now had no freedom of movement.

My brother used to tease me about it…. I still remember him raising his hand and dangling an imaginary object in front of me. “Look Shawna”, he teased, as the made the unseen object wave and bounce enticingly. “Bright and Shiny! Bright and Shiny!”

Oh yeah, he pegged me pretty good there. Sad thing is I wanted to reach out, take that imaginary object and make it mine.

Its been the story of my life really…. I’ll be walking along with someone…. They’ll be talking away, turn and realize that they are talking to empty air. I didn’t mean anything by it, there was just something else caught my attention. If we were at the store then maybe it was a bottle of this or that which I suddenly remembered I needed. If we were out in nature maybe the sunlit shadows dancing on leaves caught my eye and demanded I stop and admire it…. You never know with me.

I wandered off at Disneyland once. We were in the Haunted Mansion and I was following a pair of legs that I assumed belonged to my father. Imagine my surprise when I looked up and realized that it wasn’t my dad after all! I stood there in the entrance of the mansion, looking around, and wondering where my father was hiding in that big crowd of strangers. Luckily he found me… he walked up and reached down, taking my small hand in his large one, and guided me to where my mother and brother waited. I wasn’t scared, because I knew dad would find me.

That’s the way it always is for me…. I know where I am, so I am not frightened. I am sure I have caused my mother a few heart attacks though.

I guess I should be more attentive.... more, well, in the moment. As it is I spend my life with my head mostly in the clouds. There's nothing wrong with dreaming, or distractions, unless they take away from the time spent with those around you. I never intend to slight anyone... it just happens sometimes.

So if you are one of those whom I sometimes "zone out" on, I apologize. If you are someone I have been distracted away from, I am sorry that I made you feel less important. It really wasn't the case at the time.... I'm just....

....ooh, what a pretty bird!

...ooh, smell that autumn air!

...ooh, I should bake banana bread today....

Oops... see.... there I go again....

.....wandering away........