Wandered Away

As a child I used to wander off. One moment I would be standing there in my mother’s sight, and the next I’d be off who knows where, chasing after something that had caught my eye. It got so bad that she purchased a harness for me, as if I were some bad dog that couldn’t be taught to heel properly and now had no freedom of movement.

My brother used to tease me about it…. I still remember him raising his hand and dangling an imaginary object in front of me. “Look Shawna”, he teased, as the made the unseen object wave and bounce enticingly. “Bright and Shiny! Bright and Shiny!”

Oh yeah, he pegged me pretty good there. Sad thing is I wanted to reach out, take that imaginary object and make it mine.

Its been the story of my life really…. I’ll be walking along with someone…. They’ll be talking away, turn and realize that they are talking to empty air. I didn’t mean anything by it, there was just something else caught my attention. If we were at the store then maybe it was a bottle of this or that which I suddenly remembered I needed. If we were out in nature maybe the sunlit shadows dancing on leaves caught my eye and demanded I stop and admire it…. You never know with me.

I wandered off at Disneyland once. We were in the Haunted Mansion and I was following a pair of legs that I assumed belonged to my father. Imagine my surprise when I looked up and realized that it wasn’t my dad after all! I stood there in the entrance of the mansion, looking around, and wondering where my father was hiding in that big crowd of strangers. Luckily he found me… he walked up and reached down, taking my small hand in his large one, and guided me to where my mother and brother waited. I wasn’t scared, because I knew dad would find me.

That’s the way it always is for me…. I know where I am, so I am not frightened. I am sure I have caused my mother a few heart attacks though.

I guess I should be more attentive.... more, well, in the moment. As it is I spend my life with my head mostly in the clouds. There's nothing wrong with dreaming, or distractions, unless they take away from the time spent with those around you. I never intend to slight anyone... it just happens sometimes.

So if you are one of those whom I sometimes "zone out" on, I apologize. If you are someone I have been distracted away from, I am sorry that I made you feel less important. It really wasn't the case at the time.... I'm just....

....ooh, what a pretty bird!

...ooh, smell that autumn air!

...ooh, I should bake banana bread today....

Oops... see.... there I go again....

.....wandering away........