It seems strangely out-of-place that so many of my thoughts are about you. That I am still spending so much of my time weeping about the fact that you and I will have no more adventures together here in this life; that any new memories I form will not have you in them. That I have days where I cannot seem to bring myself to focus on the matter at hand.
Surprisingly, I do have days where I feel good. Days where I can accomplish the tasks I set forth to do. There is a balance in knowing that while there are bad days, there are good ones too, and I can take comfort in the fact that as much as it hurts, that I can go on.
I have made plans; plans that you would be happy over, and projects started that you would approve of. They will take awhile, but it not only gives me something to do with my time, but some of them are things that I can still share with you.
I am trying my hardest to keep moving forward and not live in the past; to focus on the future, instead of weeping for my lost youth, but its an uphill battle. I have a feeling it is something I will fight against for a long time... but I am trying, really I am.
I love you.... I miss you.... I look forward to being with you again but, until then, I continue to work towards that glad day.
I will be a poet, a writer, an artist.... everything that I wanted to accomplish in this life I will do. I will continue to be kind to those I meet, and help wherever I can.
I will continue to move forward until the day where we can all meet as a family at the end of this mortal journey.
I will not hold myself back...
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